What a good idea, thought Mrs. Grumpy,
But she didn’t tell Mr. Grumpy that
Because compliments made his head swell,
And then he would shout all the more.
She carefully scraped the maggots off the road
And put them in an envelope
On which she wrote the following address
No 1 Humbug Man
Because Mrs Grumpy was friendly
And would talk nicely to anyone
She had friends and relatives all over the place
Including the No. I Humbug Man
Whom she had met once at a Barbie
“I know he will help,” she said.
And then she walked down the hill to the Snackeroo Shop
Which also happened to be a Post Office
And popped her letter in the letter box.
When the postman brought the letter
The No. 1 Humbug Man was standing
By a coolabah tree
Just about to drink a Frothy.
It’s come all the way from Ingerland,” the postman said
“Oh,” said No 1 Humbug Lady.
“Ooh” said their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
All forty seven of them.
Who all thought Ingerland was a very strange place
On the bottom of the world
Where people had to put superglue on their feet
To stop them falling off.
“What are those?” No 1 Humbug Lady shrieked
When her partner opened the envelope.
“Squashed maggots,” he replied. “Very squashed.”
“Oh” The poor little things,” chorused their 47 children.
“Mrs Grumpy wants me to unsquash them,” he explained’
“How?” she asked.
“I have to think about that,” replied No 1 Humbug Man.
“Fetch him another pack of Frothies,” his partner ordered.
“Make that two packs,” No 1 Humbug Man told her.
“It’s going to be a very big think”!
So the No1 Humbug Man
Sat under the coolabah tree all night
And drank all the Frothies, but he also did some thinking.
In the morning he stood up.
The ground around his feet
Was in a worse mess
Than the maggots’ garden
Instead of broken piggy banks
There were empty Frothy cans
All over the place.
“Right on,” the No1 Humbug man said.
“I have thought!”
Hooray!” said all the 47 children.